Monday, September 26, 2005

Twice as Nice

My oldest friend Jennifer e-mailed me this morning -- and when I say oldest, I don't mean that she's old, but rather that I've known her longer than any of my "still in touch with" friends -- and she had great news to share. She's expecting twins! Nolan will be just turning 2 when the twins are born, so ... a little scary, a lot overwhelming, but also joyous happy news nonetheless.

Jenn and I met in Home Ec class in the 9th grade (do they still have Home Ec class or did I just really date myself?!). Not only does she know me better than almost anyone -- but she has a way of keeping me grounded, and makes me feel better about things without her being condescending or patronizing me.

When I was visiting her a couple months ago (and I may have written about this), I told her about my fear of accepting single motherhood -- that by doing that, it would make me feel like I was giving up on my man search. And rather than tell me that I was being silly, that it would all happen, be patient, etc....all of the cliche-riddled responses that I normally get from well-meaning friends, she simply said, in the kindest tone possible, "it might not happen."And her saying that made me feel better instantly. It was like she was validating my feelings as real, as...well for lack of a better word -- valid.

But here's the other thing about Jenn, she believes in me. And she believes that it will happen. I mentioned in my last e-mail that I was trying e-harmony, even though I was feeling particuarly destined to be single.

Her response in the e-mail this morning said, "I think that's good you're doing the eharmony thing. More trying = more chances of meeting someone, right? You are not destined to be single. You are just destined to marry later than most...and that's okay too!"

And this coming from a person who initally had trouble conceiving, about to be the mother of three -- somehow it adds more credence to what she's saying. She knows about things not happening as expected, but things happening all the same.

*****

And though I don't feel this way in particular, it is Monday, and it is raining, so....

Sometimes I'd like to quit...nothing ever seems to fit...nothing to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ellie, You SO remind me of my sister... And, your mom and mine are the SAME... ! ! I read your post to my sister and she agreed... Don't be too sad, there are worse things than not having a man, like having a bad one.

ellie said...

thanks! moms definitely make life interesting, that's for sure.

Anonymous said...

Oops... Hope that didn't sound too cliche...

ellie said...

No -- it's fine. :)

Anonymous said...

committing to a baby...do you have a time frame? do it...you are stronger than you think. Men may come and men will go, but your baby will grow with you forever.jrk