The B Side

So I've been back to work for a week. And I've come to realize that my infatuation with B was just that, an infatuation.

Still very hot? Absolutely.
Still really attracted to him? Physically, yup.
Still sleep with him if the opportunity every presented itself? Probably, yes.

So maybe this vacation was a good thing. This week apart was what I needed. To re-evaluate. To see things more clearly. To not jump at the first man who suddenly pays a little attention to me. I can't help but go back to what Gina said to me, about thriving on male attention. And I think that's what happened with B. He got a little overly flirtatious and I latched on for all it's worth.

This vacation was also good for me in another way. Being all dolled up, hanging out with some of the most important men of my college life, having them see me in a different light -- it did something, too. It helped with my self-confidence. I may always be the baby of my family, may always feel like I have to sit at the kids table. But I didn't feel like that with these guys. Didn't feel like the insecure girl I used to be in college. And they accepted me as the me I am now -- not the me I used to be.

If only I could feel that way around my family. If only I could feel like a full-fledged adult. But I guess that's a column for another day.