I'm missing having a "friend with benefits." I'm needing some male attention. B could have so easily filled that role. Stupid B...or maybe stupid Ellie. Maybe he was right that it would be awkward, that it would be weird. I don't know.
I shouldn't be attracted to him. He's scruffy. He's sloppy. He knows nothing about sports. He doesn't take care of himself -- eats horribly, doesn't sleep, works too much. And yet, there is something about him.
I've been in all-day computer training sessions with him since Monday. I caught him looking at me today. Though it was different than when I caught him before - it was bolder. For both of us. I smiled at him and he winked back. And we both held the look.
Sigh...I'm going to hear him play at a coffee house tomorrow night after work. And I told him I was going so I can't back out at the last minute, can't make an excuse. I'll go for a little while -- and maybe I'll stay for the whole set and maybe I won't. But I will show up to support him, as a friend would. And try to move on beyond our mini-attraction, our four-hour session of foreplay that led nowhere.
Ahhh B...you're driving me crazy.
Maybe if I told him that he'd be saving me from calling Chris if he would just sleep with me? Just once, just to get me out of my drought. It's a thought. Good thing tomorrow is at a coffee house and not a bar. I might have a beer too many and say something silly.
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5 comments:
I still say that 'friends with benefits' is a loneliness maker. You feel guilty if you want love, you feel sad and angry when they see other people, and you still have no one to just hang out and watch movies with.
My last 'friend' allowed for twenty minutes of conversation prior, 15 minutes of enjoying the afterglow, and that's it.
No phonecalls just to see what's up, no real involvement in your life, no one to listen to you cry about a bad day.. etc.
I have found that I need those things more than sex. (Not that I don't crave messy, wild, wonderful, feeling the afterglow all the next day sex too. sigh.)
Shame on your for shamelessly flirting at work! :)
It's definitely not a good idea. Having said that, I wish I had a "friend".
I tried getting a girl I dated for a while to convert to just a frien with benefits but she wasn't interested. At the time it made sense to me. The sex with her was the best I'd ever had, but I knew nothing would come of the relationship. Maybe I should call her......
Ed- shame on you :p
I realize that the friends with benefits is not the greatest thing, but it does meet a need. And I did manage to have a successful FWB relationship for 18 months in Baltimore. And I think I'm the type of person who needs the physical as much as the emotional.
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