Stay Gold, Ponyboy

I woke up early again on Saturday -- too early. But again, I was in event mode. Finally, I got out of bed about 7:30 and went to the hotel gym. My brother joined me 15 minutes later. We worked out for about an hour. I knew that by the middle of the day (before my adrenaline and second wind kicked in, I would be thoroughly exhausted).

After breakfast with my sister and brother-in-law from California and my brother and sister-in-law from Alaska, Tiffany and I killed time at the mall before our hair appointment. By the time we got back to the hotel, my parents were there as well and Jenny and the baby. It was hurry up and wait time again. We wouldn't be able to get into the room to decorate until after 5.

My hair was done. My make-up was done. I would just need to throw my dress on at the last minute. My sister arrived with two car-loads of decorations around 5. We walked down to the banquet room and saw that it was nowhere close to being ready for us. Panic set in just a little. We set to work about 5:30 -- swags on the walls, bows on the centerpieces, setting up the placecards, the easal, the cake and gift tables, making sure the TV and VCR worked, and hiding the boxes and bags that we carried everything in.

I ran down to the hotel room at 5:55. Reuben and Tiffany followed me. Tiffany ran interference while my brother and I changed, backs to each other. It was so late that I didn't even care. grabbed my purse and back down to the room. At this point, everyone was gathering. I had told them all to be ready and in the lobby by 6 for pictures, hadn't I?

My mother had told me the day before that Sue and Frank would be there between 6 and 6:30. I tried not to let it bother me. And at this point, I was happy for the delay. My father kept calling me the "cruise director" and asking me what I needed him to do. I herded everyone into the lobby. Sue wasn't there yet and Sammi was still getting dressed, having put the finishing touches on the room.

I yelled for the grandchildren on the stairs. And the papparazzi took over. Flash, flash, flash. Then add Dan and Ryan. More flashes went off. Brenna and Erin (my god-sisters). Flash, flash. Throw my parents in the picture. Sue and Frank arrived -- I grabbed Angie and made her go with me to say hello to them. Frank's mother was pleasant enough. Frank said, "hi Ellie," (the only words he would speak to me the entire evening). And my sister nodded hello. Deep breath.

When Sammi got down to the lobby, we took pictures of the eight kids. We added my parents. More flashes than I could count, and who knew where to look?! Then the fun -- the entire family, on the stairs. It was crazy. I knew no one would listen to me. Organized chaos, at best. They piled on the stairs in their own order. Brenna and Erin and the priest took pictures. Then just the priest. And then he joined in the picture and an innocent bystander took a picture. Ok, time to party.

My sister Kathy, who brought the sound system, and I walked down to the room to make sure they were ready for us. It was about 6:45. We started the music and I ran back to the lobby with a quick arm sweep.

My parents were in all their glory. They stod by the door and greeted everyone as they arrived. There was some last-minute tabling shuffling -- my aunt sat with my sister's mother-in-law. My mom wanted the priest at their table. No problem.

Sue came up to me while I was getting a beer. "You need to get some rolls on the table. Frank (who is a diabetic) can't wait until dinner. This is ridiculous. Tell somebody." It wasn't the fact that she was asking me -- well in fact, she wasn't asking, she was telling -- it was her tone. Like, "I found a flaw in your party -- fix it."

I asked the banquet manager for a basket of bread for table 1. It actually worked out well -- Jenny was able to get Ryan to sit for a little while and have something to eat. I had given out most of the refund money (I hadn't needed to use all $350 from each person) the night before or during the day. I gave Kathy hers and told her that there was an extra $100 in there for the video production. She was very thankful. I knew that she had paid her production man out of her own pocket, but we had only budgeted a certain amount. With some extra money left over, I was able to give her more for it.

I went over to Sue. "Here's $30 -- I didn't use all the money. So I was able to give everyone some money back." Do you think I could have gotten a thank you? Nope. "Oh, okay. Good." Oh, okay. Good? What kind of shit response is that?! UGH!!!

At the end of cocktails, my brother Mike gave a toast. Kathy introduced each of the family members. And then Father Ahern came up with my parents. He asked the eight of us to join them -- girls on one side, boys on the other. We stood in brith order, which means I had to stand next to Sue. But I looked fabulous on the end.

And then we ate. After dinner, my niece and nephew recited the Irish blessing. Reuben told a funny family story and gave out silly t-shirts to my dad and brothers. I followed with my present, which I hoped garnered some ooh's and aah's. I was too focused on my parents and not tripping over my words to notice.

I said something like, "everyone who knows me knows that I love baseball. So of course my present is baseball related. I have here a picture of my brother's (look towards Bob) favorite baseball player. It is inscribed with the following -- Dick and Fran, congratulations on 18,263 consecutive days of marriage. Cal Ripken Jr. 11-19-05"

My father loved it. When I handed to him, he said, "this is going in the living room." Mission accomplished.

Angie sang next. "Sentimental Journey" -- very appropriate. And sung beautifully. And with her mother's knack for filling dead air (the musical interlude) with self-deprecating humor. Erica danced. An Irish jig. I love to watch her dance. And then the finale -- the video. Six minutes and 42 seconds of family photos. Forty hours of production time on Kathy's part. It was a hit!

The evening went too fast -- I managed to talk to everyone at least once. Though it didn't feel like more than simple catch-ups and how great my parents are (which they are). I also got a lot of "you look great's." That felt good. And I managed to not get cold, even though I was practically naked from the waist up, until the evening was almost over. I wore Reuben's suit jacket for a while.

It was an amazing night. I know that my parents had a wonderful time. They were absolutely beaming. I was so busy -- keeping things on track or just simply enjoying myself, I didn't even miss the fact that B was supposed to be there.

I wondered this morning when I got to work if he would ask about it. In fact, I thought that I would be pretty disappointed in him if he didn't. We were both on IM all day. Not a peep out of him. I had a meeting with one of the deans in the afternoon -- and even he asked if the party was a success. And then a meeting with B at 4. Nada. What a boy!

But I won't let him ruin my memories -- so much fun with my family. And what made it special was that everyone was there. Not just the siblings, but there spouses and kids. The last time that happened, Tiffany and I figured out was Christmas 1990. The last time the siblings were together -- and I have a picture of the eight of us in my office -- was when my grandmother died in 1994. But when the out-of-towners came home, the didn't bring their spouses or kids.

So to have all eight kids, and their seven spouses, and all eight grandchildren, plus one spouse and great-grandchild; the local in-laws -- three mothers-in-law and a father-in-law; two godchildren; and my dad's sister was probably a once-in-a-lifetime event.