An Open Letter to Dr. Neil Clark Warren

"Your dating service sucks. I want my $99 back.
Sincerely, Ellie."

Ok, I wouldn't write that. My ego wouldn't allow it. I would slave over well-thought out prose, citing specific examples in each paragraph, adding a positive aspect in paragraph three, before launching into how I would like situation rectified ( a full refund or another three months, gratis). Perhaps I will -- and I might even give a response back, though I doubt that. I'm big on writing complaint letters. Working in public relations, customer service is very important to me.

So in one month from yesterday, December 11th, my three-month subscription to e-harmony will be over. I have moved beyond the "four match stages," to have an actual e-mail exchange with someone, with exactly two people (and those seemed to last exactly one exchange each way -- I'm still waiting for them to respond back to me). I have talked on the phone with exactly zero men, and gone on exactly zero dates. I was not looking for the love of my life -- a date, a little dinner, a cup of coffee, some conversation. how unreasonable of me to think that I might actually find something like that here.

I have found what seemed to be promising-sounding men -- by reading their match criteria and lists -- only to be disappointed when they closed the match with the reason of "physical distance too great." I'm sorry...Syracuse to Ithaca is not a great physical distance. I work with people who make that commute every day to work. It's less than 60 miles. I used to drive farther to go to dinner when I lived in Baltimore.

Out of the approximately 30 mathces, I was matched with two men who lived in Ithaca. Most were from Rochester or Syracuse, a few from Binghamton, Rochester being the farthest (about 90 minutes to two hours).

I promptly responded to all my matches when they were set up. I am still waiting to hear from men whose last communication date was early- to mid-October. Am I the only person who finds this rude and disrespectful?

Perhaps the open letter should be to the men on e-harmony and not Dr. Neil Clark Warren (am I the only who distrusts men with three first names, and what exactly is he a doctor of?).

"Dear Fellow Singleton,

If you're going to sign up for the service, see it through. When you receive a correspondence from your matches, respond in a timely manner -- within a week, nothing unreasonable. If you don't want to date someone who lives 60 miles away, specify that in your match criteria. If you decide you want to take a break from dating, decide this a little sooner than when we've reached stage 3 or 4. If you are unable to meet these requests, please send me my $99 that I wasted thinking that you were worth meeting.

Sincerely, Ellie."