Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin

I was standing in alumni relations this afternoon, waiting for a co-worker so we could walk to a meeting together. She was talking, and I was waiting. The alumni director walked by and stopped, and looked at me. Strangely. I had no idea what he was about to say to him.

"You're looking awfully..."

Annoyed? Bored?

"...thin. Are you working on it?"

I said that I was. "I can see it in your chin."

In my chin?! Granted, it probably would have been inappropriate for him to comment on my actual body. But my chin?!

It made me feel good anyway -- and I'm actually getting better at accepting compliments. What is it about women? Why can't we just smile and say thank you?

"That's a pretty dress." -- "This rag?"

"Your hair looks great." -- "Oh please, I'm having a bad hair day."

Just say thank you. And I have to remind myself of that, over and over again. I don't take compliments well, because I'm not sure of the motive. It sounds awfully cynical and suspicious of me -- and I'm usually not a cynical or suspicious person. But I think most women are like that. Otherwise seemingly confident, succesful women -- suddenly insecure when someone comments on their physical being.

I remind myself there is no motive. They wouldn't be saying it if they didn't think it was true. They would just say nothing. It's not like you were fishing for the compliment -- it came out of the blue, all on their own valition. So, smile...and say thank you.

But there is another kind of compliment, one that is hard to comprehend. The non-compliment. I have a co-worker who is great at the non-compliment. A couple weeks ago, I wore a pair of khakis -- they were kind of new and sort of fit me, closer in size than most of my current wardrobe. She said, "nice pants."

Now I was about to say "thank you." But what was she really saying -- nice pants on you, or just, nice pants? So I merely said, "Old Navy, you gotta love that store."

She has also been known to comment on the color of a shirt or sweater. "That's a great color."

Not "that's a great color on you," but rather "great color." Well, since I had nothing to do with creating the color, can I really say thank you? And is she really saying something that deserves a thank you?

I'm perplexed on that one -- and maybe I shouldn't be. Maybe, I should respond to the "nice pants" the same way I respond to the "you're looking awfully thin."

Smile. And say thank you, Gilbert. Thank you.