Maroon Five

I'm having lunch with a friend in Baltimore on Thursday. Stopping on my way to Richmond. I'm so excited to see him. Though we've talked and e-mailed since I left Baltimore, I haven't seen him in over a year.

What do I wear? It has to be something comfy (five-hour drive to Maryland, another two-and-a-half to Richmond). But cute. Without looking like I tried too hard.

Why do I care? Well...J is one of those guys who could have me any way he wanted (yes that means exactly what you think it means). The first time we worked together, there was an immediate attraction and undeniable chemistry.

And when I say immediate, I mean immediate!

And not only was he the first man to say to me, "if only I wasn't married...." -- but he was also the first one for me to think, "if only he wasn't married...."

And while I know nothing will happen on Thursday -- it is just lunch, for goodness sakes -- there is something about him. Something about the way we interact, the he looks at me and teases me, that is just good for my ego.

And so the selfish, ego-centric part of me says, "wait until he sees me." I mean, come on, there was sexual tension and a forbidden kiss between us when I was 35 pounds heavier. (Yes, my self-view of my attractiveness is tied directly into my weight -- a column for another day.)

I talked to my friend Bubbles tonight, and she said, "you two belong together. And if he ever got a divorce and you ended up together, you'd be the perfect couple. Someone would be having a party and before anyone would accept, they'd say, 'are ellie and j coming?'"

"But we wouldn't be like sticky sweet, perfect couple."

"No, not like Barbie and Ken. But we'd still talk about how perfect you were behind your back, even while loving you."

"Yea, we're too sarcastic with each other to be Barbie and Ken."

And that's one of the things that I find most attractive about him. His personality. He challenges me. He doesn't let me get away with things. And being the youngest, and having that youngest kid mentality, I tend to want to get away with things.

And so while I'm not pining away for J, not wishing on a star for his marriage to break up (that would be horrible), I do wonder, "what if...." How could we have met in another lifetime? Where could our paths have crossed before Baltimore?

No, I'm not pining, not wishful -- but I am thankful. Thankful for having him in my life, as my friend, as someone I can count on. Professionally he's my sounding board. Personally, he just might be the stick against which I measure all men.