So one year ago, I made my commitment to myself. I was slightly disappointed when I got on the scale this morning and the grand total for the year was only 35.5, which means I'm still up 2.5 from the holidays. All in all, I know that it's great. It's as much as a small child weighs. But after how hard I've been working the past two weeks, I was hoping for closer to 40, if not over.
And speaking of how hard I've been working...my knee is killing me! I finally broke down and called the doctor (my local doctor, not the Perv) and I'm seeing him tomorrow. It's still swollen, it still aches and its hard to walk up stairs. When I was shaving in the shower just now, it hurt to lift my leg up -- the muscles and tendons around my knee cap felt strained at that movement.
None of this, however, prevented me from going to the gym tonight. I did 45 minutes on the elliptical and then abs. I will not NOT go to the gym. We'll need to figure this all out with a plan that not only heals me, but also keeps me sweating each night.
(Wow, what great segues)...so speaking of sweating, Chris came to visit on Friday. It was fine. It was fun -- I was glad I wasn't going back to work (I hate feeling rushed). There's no emotional attachment this time around (which is good), but....there's no emotional attachment. When he left, it just reinforced what I don't have. What I want. And while I can win any argument and rationalize why having him in my life, right now, this way, is okay -- I so want more. And not from him. But from some other him.
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I just want to remind you *again* that you have accomplished so much. Someone once told me that if you spoke to your friends in a public restaurant the way you speak to yourself, the waiter would probably throw you out!
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