Dr. Pervert

It was all about the treadmill last night, nothing above 3.8 mph. I did ab work but my trainer wouldn't let me do push-ups (I do them from my knees) or some other stuff that she said would put a strain on my knees. So treadmill tonight and tomorrow, maybe the elliptical tomorrow. Maybe. A rest over the weekend, and then we'll kick it back up a slight notch on Monday.

I wore my brace when I got out of the shower for about three hours last night, and then slept with a pillow between my knees, to keep my knee caps from knocking against each other. And then proceeded to have the strangest dream about my former orthopedic surgeon. The same orthopedic surgeon who has known my family almost my entire life, who performed both reconstructive knee surgeries on me when I was in high school, who took care of me when I got hurt in college -- and the same guy who, despite all of the above, visited me when I lived in Rochester, pushed me against the wall and decided that it was appropriate to kiss me. With his tongue.

So we'll call him Dr. R -- since that time, I have had as little to do with him as possible. Occasionally my mother will say that she saw him and he asked about me (I bet he did). He'll ask for my phone number so he can see how I'm doing. And my mother, being clueless to the whole situation, gives it to him. Thank god I now have caller ID. He called before the anniversary party -- he knew that I would be in town and that my older sister would also be flying in from California. (Apparently, they had a two-consenting-adults fling 20 years ago or so.) I ignored the call. He didn't leave a voice mail, but called several times within an hour.

That was the last I had heard from him or even thought of him, but of course now that my knee is an issue, I imagine that I would think of him. It makes sense. So my dream...

I knew that I shouldn't be going to see him, he had practically molested me, (besides the fact that I lived in an entirely other city and should be going to my own very sweet doctor) but it was a dream and sometimes things don't make sense in a dream. So I went to see him. I explained that my knee had been hurting, I pointed out where it was sometimes swollen, just below the side of the knee cap. I told him how often I'd been wearing my knee brace and that I'd become an Advil popper again. He looked at me knee, and as doctors will do, he touched it, poked and prodded. Then his hand went from my knee, up my thigh. I woke up at the point, kind of skeeved out but not surprised.

He was the first adult I trusted who completely betrayed that trust. I should have known it wouldn't have been any different in a dream.