A Boy named B

"Am I missing something? Why are you attracted to B? He is so not your type."

And so goes not only the conversation I have in my head sometimes, but the conversation I have with a friend who knows B well. This particular version of the conversation came about because I was describing what I consider to be "my type."

The clean cut, former frat boy, goes to work in a suit. And that is so not B.

And yet, I'm attracted to him. Still. *Sigh*

And I know I'm not the only one. He could easily have a gaggle of girls at his feet -- and, in fact, probably does when he's playing a gig or out at a bar. My friend understands why she finds him attractive -- he's more her type. She is continually perplexed as to why I do.

It goes beyond his rock star image, beyond his flirtation and charm. And for me, even beyond this want and need to take care of him.

We had lunch last week, and this is what I got out of it, after much post-lunch analysis: there is a mutual sexual attraction between us (he said that); he is intimidated by me (not sure where this comes from); I would still sleep with him (I said this).

He said that as much of a bad-ass as he appears to be at work, he really is a good two-shoes on the inside, and he thinks the exact opposite is true of me. That I give off "good girl" at work, but I'm really a bad girl and that scares the hell out of him. Now certainly, I do have an inner bad girl, though it's not my dominant personality, so that puzzles me as to why he thinks I'm intimidating.

Who knows....all I do know is he has become a challenge, one I'm not sure I can win. And frankly, one I'm not sure I should (or should want to) win. We have cleared the air between us, we have a found a new basis for our relationship, and I think, we can openly flirt with each other and know where we're each coming from. In that sense, we won't go back to the weirdness, back to the unclear expectations of each other.