What did I do before I learned how to text message?

Bubbles is convinced that, if not interested in something, men don't have a great attention span. So by that logic, J of Baltimore is still hot for me.

Saturday night I went to a gala for a local non-profit. There was a cut-out of Cal Ripken, so I got my picture with it and sent it to J on my cell phone. Nothing. So about an hour and two beers later, I sent him the following text:

"wow no comment?"

J: "On what Irish girl? You know I would always comment! I can't get photos on this thing! Hope you're drinking Jameson!"

Ellie: "Drinking beer, looking fab at a gala, there is a life-size Cal which is what I sent a pic of -- me and #8"

J: "wasn't what I was hoping for but ok"

Ellie: "I'd send u what u want if u could see it"

J: "good point. I am low tech I guess. My loss for sure!"

Ellie: "Your loss for now -- not forever. I can make it up to you at some point :)"

J: "I am counting on that. I will make it worth it."

And so it goes...as it has for the past four years. He confuses me. He knows the effect he has on me. The flirting, the innuendo, and sometimes, an outright proposition. And yet, when I get to Baltimore, and we meet up for a drink, it's as if it never happened.

Should I be more bold in person? Should I tell him to "shit or get off the pot" so to speak? Even in the midst of a great time with Chris, and even when I was totally loving life with BB, J was always on my mind, never far from my thoughts or my fantasies.

Almost four years after leaving Baltimore, he's still in my head.

And he knows it.

And there's not a god damn thing I can do about it.