It doesn't matter that my brothers and sisters haven't gotten back to me. It doesn't matter that they've ignored the email my mother sent out as a follow up to mine.
It doesn't matter that I'm hurt, again, by them.
It doesn't matter that they are seemingly ignoring the biggest thing in my life.
The only that matters is this biggest thing in my life, this little baby who will someday be mine.
It only matters that I am the type of person who can let go of hurt feelings, who can let go of the bitterness, so that I can be a good mom, a good role model. The kind of person I want to be for that little baby.
Bubbles reminded me of this, and once again reminded me how lost I would be without her.
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I'm Alexis. I'm 16 and from northern California. That's all my parents let me tell anyone on the Internet about myself.
You may be leery of random responses to your posts. It may cause you to feel as though there are voyeurs out there stalking your every blog move. I hope I'm not scaring you.
I just want you to know that I've read a few of your blogs and that I care. I'm sorry your siblings don't usually come up with the emotional support you need from them. I wish things could be different for you. My family sometimes comes through when I need them, but at other times, they fail me miserably. I can, in a very slight way, understand from where you are coming.
I wish you luck and prayers in your attempts at motherhood. So many babies have lousy or uncaring parents, or none at all. Doesn't it seem that there should be a more efficient way of matching the babies needing parents with the parents desperately seeking babies?
I understand, especially after hearing the story of the little boy sent on a plane back to Russia by his would-be adoptive mother, that screening on both sides needs to be in place. Still, there needs to be more assistance both with conception and appropriate adoption.
My life, for the most part, has been boringly middle class, which means that I have spent most of my childhood and youth as a very blessed person. I'm now picking myself up from a very rough spring, both physically and emotionally. My family has been with me for part of it, but for other parts, they've gone on with their own lives without me and without showing any concern for the lack of progress in my life. Life is slowly piecing itself back together.
I blog and respomd to blogs to stay sane. Please don't be scared of me. I'm a 16-year-old temporarily immobilized girl without even a learner's permit, much less a license or a car. I don't really even like to hurt mosquitoes. I couldn't be less threatening if I were wrapped tightly in in duct tape.
I just want you to know that someone in cyberspace cares about your pain and hopes you soon get all you desire.
Your blog reader,
Alexis
http://alexisar.blogspot.com/
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