Monday, December 06, 2010

November Recap

So in the light of day, and with no beers, Kevin is seeing the light. He and his wife are still having issues, they are still not intimate but he is working on it from his end. I've been checking on him every week or so just to make sure. I know one thing, he won't do anything stupid.

Is it appropriate that I know he and his wife aren't having sex? Probably not, but I've given up trying to understand what my role is in the lives of my guy friends. I knew what it was in high school, and college, and even our 20s. As they all got married and evolved, I'm still the same Ellie, here for them to here the good and the bad.

Another friend, who seems to be in the same situation as Kevin -- lack of intimacy, problems in the marriage, etc (I've written about him when the whole Kevin thing reared its head) -- is not being quite so smart. I met him and a friend out one night. He was very drunk, he was very inappropriate. He kept trying to kiss me, told me that he has always loved me, wanted to spend the night with me.

I pushed him away and told him I was not the consolation prize for married men in the middle of a mid-life crisis! That did nothing to dissuade him. I was pissed. When I finally got him back into a bar stool, sipping a coke, we talked a little.

I should have just walked away from him and never looked back. But his kids are important to me, and they are the only reason I didn't walk. We talked about things he's done, mistakes he has made. He was a lot of talk -- and in the subsequent apologies since that night -- about how he's going to change, how he's better than this.

We last talked about two weeks ago, after I had been dodging his numerous texts. And again, it was a lot of talk, and I told him that. I told him to come tell that he's done these things in six months, not that this is what he's going to do.

And then today, a two-page handwritten letter.

I know he means well. And I think he's trying to change, but I'm not the one he needs to change for. I'm not the one he needs to do right by.

All he's done is convince me that being single is probably a better place to be than married to someone like him.

4 comments:

Hizuna :-\ said...

Your writing is so very convincing :)

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