Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Which brings up another point....

Let's just continue on the Dr. Pervert theme. I can't believe I didn't write about this. I think I was so charged up, so spitting mad, that I couldn't. And then I had my peace with my mother and it was over.

In October, right after my last insemination, my mother and father had to go in to see Dr. Pervert for my dad's shoulder. And in the same breath, she tells me that not only did he say hello to me, but that he also lost my number and she gave it to him again and that she told him what I was doing. What?!

I completely forgot about the phone number issue (I've made it clear to her that she needs to not be handing out my cell phone number to her friends), and moved on the other, bigger issue. "That's none of his business!"

"Oh, he's got a niece who got pregnant with donor sperm, and she bought up all the sperm and ended up having two kids and their biologically full siblings....." I think she was talking so fast so I wouldn't interrupt her. I waited for her to come up for air.

"That is no one's business, that is family business....no one needs to no shit about my life, my decisions until I'm ready for them to know. I'm not pregnant yet, that is none of his business, and you shouldn't be telling people."

She, of course, couldn't understand the concept of why she can't share this news with people, especially people who (she thinks) have my best interest at heart. We hung up, I called my sister and bitched and vented at her. She was just at stunned as I was.

The next day, I was still upset with her, and felt I needed to make her see my point. Rather than calling her and raising my voice and losing my cool, I wrote her an email:

I just want to reiterate the point I tried to make to you last night on the phone, 
and I don't know if I did or not. I know you're excited about the prospect of me
getting pregnant -- I am too. However, this is nobody's business until I am
actually pregnant and well past my first trimester. Just as I wanted to be the one
to tell my brothers and sisters -- and I appreciated that you honored my wishes
with that -- I will decide when people outside of the family should know, and what
they should know. There is nothing wrong with how I am getting pregnant, but again,
it is nobody's business. The thing to say, when the time is right, is "Ellie's
pregnant -- isn't that great?" The thing to say now when people ask how I am, is
simply, "she's great."


I'm happy to say that I think she "got it." She wrote back and apologized and said, of course I was right, that this was not her news to share and she needs to respect my wishes.

Until the next time...

1 comment:

Nina said...

It has been a while since you posted, so I am de-lurking to say I hope things are going well. Post again and let us know when you get a minute.