My letters

Even though I'm wavering on the whole adoption through foster care thing, I'm still moving forward with my assignments. This week, in addition to packets and packets of paperwork, I had to write one letter to the child and one to the parents.

Because I want an infant or toddler, and because I only want to adopt, I wrote my letters in that vein.

To my baby,

I’ve been waiting for you almost my whole life. I knew I was always meant to be a mom, and while I always thought I would go the traditional route – marriage and pregnancy – I’m thrilled to be your mom, and I know that this is the way it was supposed to be. There will be a day that I will actually forget that I didn’t carry you and that we’re not biologically related.

The extended family you are coming into is large and loving. You will have aunts and uncles all over the United States. Most are in the Syracuse area, but you also have an aunt and uncle in San Diego, and uncle, aunt and two cousins in Anchorage, and an uncle and aunt (who will also be your god-parents) and cousin in Richmond. They are just as excited about me getting to be your mom as they about you being my baby.

I am my parents’ baby; and even though I’m in my late 30s, I will always be their baby. They are thrilled with the idea of their baby having a baby. You will be so special to them for that reason, and for many that you will establish on your own as you create a bond and relationship with them.

All the love and attention I have showered on my eight nieces and nephews and two great-nephews will go to you, ten-fold. I hope you will love books and baseball as much as I do. I will teach by example how to be kind and considerate, strong and confident.

I can’t wait for us to start our life together.


~~~~~~~

And to the parents:

No matter the circumstance that brought you to this decision, you are brave and courageous to give your child this gift. I’ve struggled for years with fertility and I can’t even imagine the heartache you must be experiencing, but know that your baby is going to a home that loves him, wants him, and has been waiting for him.

I purposely put off having children this long – not because I was trying to establish a career or thought there would always be time – but because I wanted to make sure that I was emotionally, physically and financially ready for this. My decision to put it off may have cost me the opportunity to carry a child, but it has made me realize with all my heart that this is what I want. Never have I wavered in my decision to be a single mother. Never did I doubt this was the right path for me.

Your child will be raised as my own. My family will love this child as if I had carried him. And every year, around his birthday, we’ll talk about you and how brave you were. We’ll talk about how you’re no doubt thinking of him, and we’ll pray that you have everything you need. That you are loved and secure, that you don’t regret your decision.

I can’t thank you enough for allowing me the privilege to raise your child, the opportunity to love your child.