Walking All my Problems Away

I walked tonight -- and it felt great. I've realized -- and it's very hard to admit -- that I've been using the fertility drugs and drama as a crutch to be unmotivated, to be the full blame of the weight gain.

Part of me hates myself for gaining it back, part of me wants to go back to the obsessive person I was (and really what's so bad about being obsessive about being healthy)...but then part of me knows that's not right.

So I've made a deal with myself, and I will use a full key people to hold me accountable (this blog included). The gym on campus that I go to during the year is closed for the summer, it reopens at the end of August.

I have no idea how many days it is between now and then -- I'll figure it out later. But between now and then, I will work out (whether at the fitness center with the students -- ewww, walking my hills at home, walking the track at school, or something else)....I will work out for at least 30 minutes, 100 times this summer. If that means I have to do two-a-days, I will.

I'm not going to kid myself into thinking I can get back to the physical shape I was in two years ago, that's too daunting of a task. But I can walk, I can use the elliptical -- and those are things that I can (and should) do if I get pregnant.

So...I'm going to count my walk on Saturday. Two down, 98 to go.