That Girl

I want to be this girl again. And I don't know how to find her. Not that I want to be reliant on Chris or his opinion. I want to be that girl, that beautiful girl, who felt so good about the way she looked.

I want to be that girl who worked out two hours a day -- and not only loved every minute of it, but couldn't wait to go to the gym the next day.

I even want to be that girl who weighed herself two, three times a day.

It makes me sad that I'm having such a hard time finding her, that I'd rather come home and hibernate, and think about not being that girl, or even a girl who's about to be a mom.

It's a gray rainy Monday -- and my mood reflects it. I'm hoping for a better Tuesday.