It's hard to want to be good to my body, when it hasn't exactly been good to me. But as my friend (and former trainer) said to me tonight, "it's the only one you've got." And so I decided that this week, I will work out as I feel like it. At the intensity and for however long I want.
Next week is spring break and the gym will be closed. Hopefully it will be warm out and I can walk a couple nights after work or at least during the day. After spring break, I need to find it inside of me again. I need to start to think about what I'm eating, start to work out hard.
That will give me two months before the end of the school year, two months to try to lose some of the baby weight. Two months to kick myself in the ass and get into a routine that will be easy to maintain over the summer when I won't have student trainers here to keep me motivated and make me feel accountable if I don't go to the gym.
I hope I'm there. There hasn't been a day since my negative test that I haven't cried a little. And after being at work all day, after trying to remain upbeat and "on," it's hard to want to do anything after work but come home and be a vegetable. That's what I need to get rid of, that's what I need to overcome.
But one day at a time. Tonight....a hard workout on the treadmill, with intervals of incline, speed and with weights. I couldn't do the whole thing, but I think having that as something to shoot for, something to play my own little workout mind games with, will help.
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2 comments:
I have just had the same conversation with my sisters and closest friends. We've decided as well to eat better and exercise more. We actually are going to join the 50 million pound challenge as well as do group walks and jogging 2-3 times a week. It's going to be a task but with faith and determination we can get anything done!
My experience has always been to have to push through that first two weeks or so. Then the endorphins and the good feelings that you get from exercise will have you hooked again. Remember that one summer when we were the Exorcists? Remember how good that felt? Yeah. You can do it. Just remember that fighting through those initial weeks is going to be hard and try to remember how great it will be to accomplish that. Sometimes the hardest part of a workout is the walk between your office and the gym. So give yourself credit every time you do it. And maybe keep a log or something so you can see your progress. That has been helpful for me, too. *hugs* Just the fact that you can see this challenge so clearly and know yourself well enough to identify that you need a goal and understand your challenges so well is a sure sign of how strong you've become mentally. You're more than halfway there already, girl!
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